Zombie Cops

Zombie Cops


What's going on with the cops' hand?

Here's a slightly amusing little ditty from The Daily Vanguard, from Portland State Univeristy. Tage was obviously interviewing fellow student to find out about their seedy criminal pasts--here's what one student had to say:

Have you ever been in trouble or been arrested or been in trouble or anything?
I don’t know if I can talk about that.

Well, you’re anonymous so you can say whatever you want.
The last time I got arrested was for being in the cemetery late at night.

Now, you say ‘the last time’, have you been arrested numerous times or … ?
Nah, I used to live in Texas and cops are kind of assholes there, I used to get in trouble a lot for breaking and entering ‘n stuff like that …

You can get in trouble in Oregon for breaking and entering though.
But it wasn’t anything bad, it jus’ like, I liked to take walks at night. And sometimes I would be in areas that I wasn’t allowed to be in.

What do you mean areas that you weren’t allowed to be in?
Cemeteries or like parks that I wasn’t allowed to be in. The cemetery that I got arrested at was an open cemetery, but they still like, arrested me. They handcuffed everything and me. I was like with a group of three … I was with my sisters.

What were the cops like?
Assholes. They threw my friend on the ground! They said we were resisting arrest but I thought they were zombies like they didn’t have any lights on and they were like limping towards us and I was like ‘Oh my God! Zombies!’

Were you on something? You thought they were zombies?!
No, I wasn’t … well okay if you see some guy without a flashlight like limping towards you … and so I started running and these cops threw my friend down and was like ‘Everybody stop resisting arrest!’ And we’re like ‘We’re not we just thought you were zombies!’ My friend was like ‘Dude, we didn’t know you were cops. You didn’t have any lights and you didn’t say anything.’ So like they were just assholes.

Yeah, zombie cops!